Erotica and Pen Names

If you have read my blog long enough, you may remember that I write erotica. The erotica I write is not fluffy romance with a bit of sex…it breathis gritty, naughty and according to one of my readers “penetrative”. I was looking through some of my past titles. They even make me blush and I wrote themūüėČ

I self published a few at some point, but found myself feeling far too exposed. So I am thinking that I may choose a pen name for myself.¬†Maybe even more than one. I already have one chosen…it is the name I used when I was a GoGo Dancer. The draw back is that, if I use a pen name, people who enjoy my writing won’t be able to find/read my books. I am so used to writing transparently, but erotica is deeper, more personal…

Wondering if any of you have advice for me. I realize it is usually me who provides the insight, but I am curious to hear your thoughts on this…From my heart to yours, Joy

Untamable Divine Feminine

I believe it was 2011 when I began writing my first book, the Guy’s Guide to Multiple Orgasms. I can’t remember if I previously wrote to you about how that book was born or not. Unfortunately it is not a magical story filled with intriguing ideas and a desperate need to share what I learned. The main reason I wrote it was because a friend told me that I should market the lessons I had learned. I fully embrace the teachings I shared in that book and the benefits many of the men and even women who have read the book have experienced…but after an experience I recently had, I realize that it is time to dig deeper.

While visiting Salt Spring, I became reacquainted¬†with¬†Sam Graci…the founder of a health company focusing on the connection between mind, body, and spirit. I first met Sam years ago when I was working as the manager of Salt Spring Coffee’s “flagship cafe” on Salt Spring Island. At that time, we briefly chatted about my practice, my writing, and about my beliefs. He seemed like an authentic man with a wealth of knowledge to share. He gave me a signed copy of his book, which I found both interesting and informative.

While¬†meandering through the aisles of Mouat’s Trading Co, a couple of weeks¬†ago, I ran into Sam again. Honestly, considering that he travels the world researching, teaching, and providing workshops, I didn’t think he would remember me. I was wrong. Sam immediately stopped in his tracks and asked me what I had been up to since we last met. After a brief conversation, he invited me to his beach home for dinner so that we could discuss my path and how it might intermingle with his.

To understand the gravity of this moment and how deeply it affected me, you would have to know that I went to Salt Spring to visit my sister and family, but I had a deeper, more personal purpose as well. I planned on meditating daily, spending silent time in nature, and hoped to more fully connect with where I am at in life, and to figure out what is next for me. I called Mountain and asked him if he felt comfortable with me driving a half hour through winding roads to meet a strange man who appeared to be truly intrigued by my professional path.

Being the confident, trusting, and loving husband that he is, he fully supported me in meeting with Sam. I borrowed my sister’s truck, which had no driver’s side window. I suppose this detail doesn’t really matter, but it will better explain why I arrived at Sam’s with wild hair and flushed cheeks. As I pulled up to his home, my breath was taken away by what my eyes took in. The beauty and serenity Sam has created for himself is truly something to behold. I stepped out of the truck and slowly made my way to the entrance of his home.

As I approached the front step of his majestic, yet quaint home, I glanced in the window just before I knocked. Being early isn’t always a blessing. Unfortunately my eyes did not register what I was seeing before my hand reached out and knocked loudly on the hand crafted wood door I was standing in front of. Sam was clearly not ready to receive me. In a startled voice, he yelled out “Joy?” then shuffled around, and said “You’re early!” I felt horrible. I almost got back in the truck and drove away, but Sam composed himself and after composing himself, he graciously answered the door.

Once I entered his home, I was blown away by the intricate art, tasteful design, and unique atmosphere Sam had created in his house. He asked me to make myself at home so that he could finished getting ready while explaining that he had just flown in from…hmmm… I think he said Shanghai, but I can’t¬†remember for sure. While he was getting ready, I checked out the stack of books piled neatly on his kitchen counter.

I was familiar with¬†the books, which included one of Bruce Lipton’s newest book. I instantly¬†felt reassured that what I knew about Sam Graci¬†matched what I was¬†experiencing¬†in his home. I thought to myself…this guy is the real McCoy! When he emerged again, seeming much more relaxed and ready to step into host mode, I felt my body relax ever so slightly. He began explaining the supper he was preparing. He mentioned that the organic chicken was pre-cooked, but he had prepared an exquisite meal with a variety of beverages to compliment each course.

I found myself looking at the huge spread of food¬†and immediately felt overwhelmed. If you know me well, you understand that I am not a big eater. I enjoy tiny bites of food throughout the day with a small evening meal…Sam had prepared a feast…and I was already feeling a tad unsettled because I was out of my element. I helped him finish the prep work and we moved out meal to his ocean front porch. I am a talkative person by nature, but found myself settling into quiet contemplation.

I asked Sam a few probing questions that had been on my mind since I first read his book…I could see that he found me equally unsettling. Sam had already asked me about my ecstatic dance practice. He played a song and said “I am fascinated by dance and wanting to learn, how would you move your body to this beat?” I responded by saying” “When and how I felt moved to.” He replied “You are obstinate aren’t you? It’s refreshing.” I wasn’t sure I fully understand what he meant. I assumed that, being a world-renowned health expert, best-selling author and a respected speaker who connects with people like Deepak Chopra and a variety of spiritual leaders, people accommodated¬†him in a way that I clearly was not.

At some point, although I didn’t¬†feel talkative, Sam began asking me his own probing questions. As most of you know, I attempt speak¬†truthfully and with a level of candor that most are not comfortable with. My dinner with Sam Graci was no exception. At one point Sam said I was “captivating”. (FYI: All of this is just the lead up to what was so important about this evening for me.) After a glass of ginger infused¬†Kampuchea¬†mixed with¬†hand-crafted¬†Tanqueray,¬†I managed to relax into myself. Sam was interested in how I had come to my path as a healer and what I had learned along the way.

My ability to be transparent allowed me to open on a deeper level than I might have otherwise. Sam sat on his porch listening to me as I shared bits and pieces of myself. I had arrived at 6:45pm (15 minutes early as I generally am) and did not leave until 10:30pm, after receiving a concerned call from my daughter. Sam concluded our evening by sharing with me that he thought I should write a book about my life…one that focused on my seemingly untamable divine feminine spirit.

So it is this that I contemplate, but I can’t help wondering if I am too much for this world….

From my heart to yours, Joy

ps: A few days after my meeting with Sam Graci, I had a Salt Spring Island photo shoot…I shared a couple of the photos with you, but I believe this one captures the essence of my divine feminine. EnJOY!


Sacred Sexual Immersion

I am dreaming of creating a sacred space where couples can work with me and be 100% immersed in each other. A space where they can discover and share their desires…where they are able to express their innermost sexual hunger. For me, sex is like breath. It fills me up, brings me peace, and lulls my mind, body and spirit into a sacred state that nothing else can.

I want to once again share what I have learned. I have even thought about creating a sacred space where men/women can go to learn the sacred sexual arts independently. I know there are places where a sexual surrogate¬†offers their services¬†for this purpose…I am not sure how I would feel about working with someone and then having them dive in with a sexual surrogate, but it seems like a possible solution…my personal boundaries prevent me from teaching on a physical level, possibly this is something I should consider.



Vacation With Joy

I just got back from my trip to Salt Spring Island, BC! I had an awe-mazing time visiting with my sister and the fam. I spent many, many hours swimming in the lake followed by a soak in my sister’s hot tub. Life was relaxed, engaging, and rejuvenating. I had a lot of time to myself, which means that I had a lot of time to think. Over the years, I continually try to supress Tantrachick. My sister asked me why I would want to shut down my inner divine feminine…the sex Goddess who lives and breathes in my soul.

I had no answer for her. In fact, the thought of letting her go…made my heart feel heavy. So here I am. Tantrachick at your service. If you want to dive deeper into your inner bliss, your sexuality…or even if you are just curious…I am here for you.

From my heart to yours,



The Only Constant is Change

The Midwest kicked my ass. That’s the long and the short of it. I have been here almost 2 years and I am only just now beginning to feel “at home” in my house. I have tried to work as a basic employee for others, but that has never been something that brings me joy…and I guess I am a bit selfish that way, but I have rarely do something for more than a short time if it doesn’t make me feel engaged and passionate.

So, I am in the process of recreating myself I guess. I tried to have my practice here, but it was so challenging. I still enjoy my online sessions, but believe it or not, my internet has been so out of whack here over the past 6 months that I can barely maintain a connection long enough to complete a full session! I have had the tech guys out to my home weekly…they have replaced the cable inside, the wires coming to my house, modem, etc. and I am still running at an average of 1 MBPS!

Seems like the universe has spoken to me, or at least putting road blocks in my path…so I have focused my energy in a different direction. I have ben cleansing, doing some light yoga, and trying to find outdoor spaces that lift my spirit. I was painting for awhile, but now I seem to be back on a writing kick again…not sure where it will take me, but I am just here for the ride. Curious to see the destination, but just going to focus on the present moment.

It sounds odd to admit it, but I am in the process of getting my real estate license! My father has been in the business in Canada for over 30 years. His life in realty is a whole different story…but I am making my own path. I don’t like the world’s perception of Realtors, but I figure that, if I can deal with the taboo topics connected with Tantra, sexuality, etc. I can handle a bit of misconceptions about the world of real estate.

Believe it or not, I am actually really excited. With my gypsy vibe, I am thinking of focusing on becoming a relocation specialist and I also want to focus on finding creative options so that people who are not ready for conventional financing are able to get into the market. In my housing market you can save substantially by owning your own home. I want to make that happen for people.

There have been a tonne of little changes and goins on, but I would say this is the biggest. My quaint little sanctuary is evolving into a place of business…who would have guessed? Not meūüėČ If you have experienced a shift in your life, or have any words of wisdom, I am here!

With love,